The end of Squee

This afternoon a tragedy struck.

After I fed and played with Squee for a bit...

She jumped from my hand when I accidentally startled her. I was trying to put her in the cage, and open the food package with my spare hand..

Squee jumped and went running, and then jumped off the counter top.

She ran under the trash bin I use for recycling.. and then went running out from under it when I lifted it to get her. I was setting it down while trying to scoop her back up.. and... she ran under half way the exact moment one part touched down. Her front end went rigid and I panicked, pulling the bin away and scooping her up in my hands.

"Squee!" I cried and instantly.. I knew that there wasn't much hope. She looked at me, her front stiff and her breathing like crazy. "No no no baby, please move, please be okay!" 

She clicked her tongue oddly in her mouth, like she was choking. I couldn't stop the tears and panic rose and I started to shake

I called loudly for the girls to call my ex, because someone had to be able to drive me in my teary panic to a vet!

I got in the car with Squee held in my hands on paper towels..
Just as blood came to her mouth... and she took her last breathes.

I'm not doing so well.

My little baby. My baby sent by the universe...
My little Squee... S'kee... Squee-rito... S'keetles. There, the color drained from her paws. There was nothing. No more life.

No prayers and begging her to wake up and hang on baby please... did a bit of difference.

All of the kids are sad, and I am... just... I don't even know anymore. I don't know.. but it hurts and I can hardly breathe.

It may not make the most of sense in the world to anyone else...

But my poor baby Squee is gone.

Buried in a grave in the back yard, in a wooden box with her name written on it. With her sock, and some of her favorite foods from the bag. We said out goodbyes... we cried... I sang part of Ayu's BRILLANT to her...

and I just couldn't handle being out there anymore.

29 days.

That is how long Squee was with us. 29 days, so many.. but far too few.

RIP baby Squee.

We'll always always love you.